03.08.05 * 8:38 p.m.

I am at my parents' right now (it feel so weird -- yet grown-up -- to not call it "home"), doing laundry. I specifically picked a day to do this chore when I knew neither my mother nor my father would be home.

The reason for this happened yesterday. Mom asked if she could borrow a suitcase of mine for a trip out of town, and apparently when she borrows something from someone, that someone has to bring it to her rather than she gratefully picking up the item. So I drove over with the suitcase.

While I was there, discussing with my dad paying off my car payments over the summer when I'll have two extra paychecks a month, Mom came down and mentioned a play that she got tickets for us to attend.

Mind you, Mom did not ask if I wanted to attend this play, she just assumed that, since I'm of an artistic nature, I would like to see the play with her.

Which I would have...but her reason for attending is business networking. I can't stand my mom as a business woman. Her voice sweetens to a syrupy sappiness and she pretends to enjoy everyone and everything. She does her job well, but apparently successful real estate transactions require a massive amount of pretending to like people.

(Which reminds me why I never wanted to go into sales.)

Anyway, I told Mom that I doubt I'd be able to go to the play. "Why?" she asked.

"Because Sam's coming to town."

A loud, exaggerated groan farted from her mouth. "But you just saw him last weekend!"

"So?"

"I guess I just don't get it!"

"Mom, Sam has been wonderful lately. The only problem we have had for the past several months is you."

Mom replied by stomping elephant-like to her room like a rejected teenager.

Sometimes I wonder what her problem is. Sam comes to visit me and brings Mom and Dad presents. He cooks for them and buys them dinners. He even explained to them that he knows that he has done wrong in the past, but doesn't want to lose me. He has said that I am the kind of person that makes him want to change for the better.

Yet Mom still can't stand him.

She sees that I'm happy. But she also sees that I get home late on Sunday nights because I just don't want to leave him. And she notices that we talk to each other everyday (after nine, to avoid going over our minutes). And she sees the presents he buys and the nice things he says and how he makes me laugh and seriously wants to do everything in the world for me to the point where I sometimes believe my life has become a romantic comedy.

But she still doesn't get it.

What is it that she doesn't like about Sam? That he's hurt me before? That he doesn't have a college education? That he lives two hours away? That he might steal me away from under her maternal nose?

Is she afraid of me being hurt again -- or her losing me?

Ah fuck. I guess I just don't get it.

Why can't a girl just be happy in the moment?